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There are all kinds of Mormons, and we as exmormons should know better than to stereotype our former selves. There is still a chance you can work out your differences, but it will require major concessions on both sides. I completely relate to all you've written; many of us have come to see Mormonism for what it is, and the severe damage it does to human brains. I married for companionship but now all I do is wait for him to stop working, to come home, to call me back, to have time, which is hardly ever.
He gets worshipped every day at work. I want to serve a mission in my old age with my husband. I clearly stated twice that I severed things with the girl. You don't have to believe them yourself, but you need that respect in thought as well as action, and you need to frame this as your own journey because you can only change yourself. Neither of our children ever considered medicine as a career after seeing how much their dad missed out on.